[dentist]

• do dental assistants have any depth perception?  they always floss deeper than they should and it makes me wince.
• where are you supposed to look when they are 8 inches from your face? awkward eye contact? no. but if you close your eyes you end up keeping your mouth open even once they are done. awkward too.
• do x-ray plates have to be rectangular with sharp edges?  i literally think it cut the roof of my mouth.
• it used to be that leaving the dentist your teeth felt super smooth. now, with the new fluoride, you leave feeling like you just drank root-beer and ate 3 packs of skittles.
• is it not the most painful thing ever when they are resting their hand against your lip as they maneuver a tool around in there? your lip is pinched against your tooth and it hurts! and there is nothing you can do but maybe try to smile to get your lip unhooked? i don't know.
• am i the only one who flosses extra good for the three days before i go so that they don't tell me i have gingivitis?
• is it necessary for them to call a tiny bit of bleeding in your gums GINGIVITIS? that sounds awful.
• i always feel like i'm 7 when i get to pick out my toothbrush.
• is there anyone who really gets cookie dough polish? that is disgusting.
• i am very grateful that dentist chairs are comfortable now, instead of how they used to be.

 

p.s. i'm cavity free. i didn't get a certificate like i used to though. i was ticked.